Saturday, March 26 – sitting at home alone tonight with freezing drizzle in the forecast, feeling sorry for myself and wishing someone would put some wood on the fire (I’m not that helpless. I’ll do it in a minute, but I’m sayin’…
Maybe it’s the 10,000 gone in Japan. Or the passing of two women who were pillars of our world. Too soon gone, Elizabeth and Geraldine, but that would have always been so. Earlier today a couple of volunteer firemen went by with lights and sirens wailing, and then tonight an ambulance, and the experience, coupled with a cold rainy day and me fighting off an attack of the dread Gombu (or something) It has left me wishing I lived closer to town, or had taken better care of my relationships. or…. Is that pathetic, or what. I mean, good grief, here I am 67 years old, in my somewhat belated prime and doing what I love, and I’m pouting because I’m home alone. I must be having an attack of the mugwumps.
The term comes originally from the political movement attributed to Gerald W. Mugwumps, who led his fellow republicans in a revolt against their party’s candidate and voted, en masse, for Democrat Grover Cleveland. It was later resurrected in the sixties as the name of a group of Chicago-area musicians who were derivative of the Beatles, Hollies, Monkees and Mamas & Papas, all at once. It comes down to me as a condition characterized by being distracted from your authentic self into some other place where you cycle through once was and could have been into why isn’t it how it was and what am I willing to give up to have it be that way.
And then the room gets cold and no one has built up the fire and I suddenly come to my senses and simultaneously into the present tense. I build the fire, say goodbye again to Elizabeth and Geraldine, and vow to be, every time I get the chance, as much me as they were their glorious, monumental selves. All fates bless them. They embodied the best of us.
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Amen. Guess we know we’re getting old when the golden folks of our youth die, huh?! But you’re right, the best way to honor these amazingly authentic and brave women is to be the best me possible. May I join you in that vow? Thanks …
The Mugwumps were a thing of joy. Cass Elliott and Denny Doherty who would later be in the Mamas and the Papas, Zal Yanovsky who would go on to form the Lovin Spoonful and James Hendricks who would have a smaller but significant career, including writing “Summer Rain” for Johnny Rivers. The Mugwumps were a New York group. They recorded some demos and a couple of singles that were later released as an album after they were all famous. Joyful music: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mugwumps
I, too, have days of contemplation over past lovers, friends, family that have relinquished their tenuous hold on this sacred life. Some have just moved into the past and some have gone on before me. I treasure them all and refuse to let go of cherished memories. Of those that are still within reach of my personal song, my heart sings to them in hopes they hear.
Sounds like y’all could use some warm weather …. you need to come to Florida!
There’s a place in Tampa called Skipper’s Smokehouse whose crowd I believe would LOVE to hear the Blackberry Winter Band perform!!!
Helen in Dunedin
Sounds like heaven, Helen. I wish I knew more of the Florida coast. I’ve just done the panhandle, over to St. George Island. Was in St. Pete once to visit the Poynter Institute, but flew in and out. Got to the beach one evening and had dinner there with Ruth Paine, a memorable experience.